Looking for ways to bond with your kids? For me, the answer is an absolute,” yes.”
One of my daughters is a teen and the other is just about there. They no longer have that need for constant nurturing and supervision. Now they are testing and directing their own actions. This is great. Right? How else will they begin to spread their wings?
Well for me, and I’m sure some of you, this is sometimes difficult. It’s a little hurtful and exciting at the same time. The period of being so needed though, is over, and rightfully so; that stage is in the past where it should be.
Instead of being sad that I’m not the “apple of their eyes,” I want to celebrate this change. It means success. They feel independent enough to test the waters and find their way in the world. Do a happy dance, celebrate!
Okay, what do we do to stay close to our kids? I want to have a strong relationship with my daughters. I want them to feel comfortable enough with our relationship to always open up. I want them to know, no topic or problem is taboo. Over the years, I’ve learned what happens when children keep their feelings, worries and problems bottled up. I’m doing everything in my power to decrease preventable emotional pains. It’s so much happier and easier to find ways to connect instead of heal.
So, what do we do to get closer to our kids? Well, as bad as the COVID-19 pandemic is, it has also afforded me with new and interesting ways to bond with my daughters and family as a whole. Before COVID-19, I thought the family dinner time was all but gone. With extracurricular and school activities encroaching on meal time, it was a rarity to have the slow sit down time. COVID-19 has given us back, family time. For the last four months, we now enjoy more family meals, game nights and our backyard.
We spend time playing badminton, volleyball, riding bikes, scooters or having barbecues and picnics. Board games, like; Trouble, Sorry, Scrabble and Life have been retrieved from closets. I don’t want to build this up to sound more than what it is, so let me clarify the point; we are doing these things, not every night but more often than ever before.
Our latest bonding activity has taken place over the last three weeks. Now if you asked me three weeks ago if this is an activity to tout as a family bonding activity, I would have said, “no way.” You see, the activity was watching, Avatar: The Last Airbender, a series about a boys journey to save the world. I normally don’t believe “cartoons/animated adventures” provide much depth for family discussions.
Okay, so now I need to adjust my opinion of things. I was so very wrong. My older daughter persuaded me to purchase and watch the Avatar: The Last Airbender series and I’m so happy she did. Not only was this a great opportunity to spend time with both my daughters, it opened up dialogues on many topics we may never have touched on, and we bonded.
I’d have to say, the story line and the powerful characters and their growth, each in their own right, automatically stimulated our conversations. We spoke about where the story was going, the decisions the characters needed to make, family, friendship, the difference between good and evil, the things in life that sway a person to go one way or another and the option of being able to try to right our wrongs. The episodes and characters led to thought provoking conversations.
We discussed the character traits we each liked or could relate to along with character decisions we agreed and disagreed with in the episodes. I don’t think I know of another series that provided so much fodder for thought and conversation. Honestly, I’m grateful for each conversation I’ve been able to have with my daughters because of watching this series.
Go watch Avatar with your kids and see what you think. If you have no kids, watch the series on your own; it will be time well spent. Enjoy and let me know what you think. Were you able to discuss the series with your kids? Did it help you bond?
So, yes this was one of the unlikely ways I would have thought to bond, but in the end I found out it was a perfect opportunity. I must be more open and creative in my thinking so I do not miss future bonding opportunities. Do you have any thoughts on ways to bond? Let me know, I’m always interested in what else I can try.
“The bond that links your true family is not one of blood, but of respect and joy in each others life.” – Richard Bach