No spring nor summer’s beauty hath such grace as I have seen in one autumnal face.– John Donne
When a walk among the fallen leaves and see the splendid colors of autumn I know that God is with me. He provides me with peace and allows me to glimpse upon heaven while on earth.
Autumn, the year’s last, loveliest smile.– William Cullen Bryant
The vibrancy of the colorful trees fill me with awe and wonder. To be surrounded by so much beauty leaves me in a contented place.
If winter is slumber and spring is birth and summer is life, then autumn rounds out to be reflection. It’s a time of year when the leaves are down and the harvest is in and the perennials are gone. Mother Earth just closed up the drapes on another year and it’s time to reflect on what’s come before.– Mitchell Burgess
I relish the opportunity to sit back, give thanks and reflect. I’m evolving, continuing to grow and pave new paths. Autumn sets the mood and allows me the tranquil setting to take stock.
Every leaf speaks bliss to me, fluttering from the autumn tree.– Emily Bronte
Thoughts flutter away with each leaf caught in the wind. How easy it is to find peace when swallowed up in such bliss.
This first middle school novel in Trenton Lee Stewart’s four book, award winning, New York Times bestselling series, The Mysterious Benedict Society , starts off slow but quickly develops into a quick moving story filled with suspense and intrigue. You just need to get past the the eccentric narcoleptic genius’ selection process for finding four orphans to help him and his associates uncover and end the threat to the world. Then there is no turning back. Reynie, Sticky, Kate and Constance, Mr. Benedict, Rhonda, Number 2 and Milligan captivate and ingratiate the readers with their wonderfully complicated and sad lives.
How can four precocious children, ages 12 and younger, possibly help Mr. Benedict save the world from a madman inventor who is ready to unleash his mind altering “Improvement” plan on humanity? After twists and turns and a little humor, these clever children show, you can do anything with perseverance, determination, friendship and love. Watch as four lonely, forlorn orphans become friends with confidence and a cause. Many loose pieces are tied up and you feel good at the end of this story.
Adult or middle school reader will both enjoy this book. The characters are endearing. Their flare for uncovering the truth, working together and leaning on all their strengths are worth thinking about. Let their simple desire to please each other be a lesson for each of us to heed.
I love apple picking and baking pies. For me, it signals autumn and the start of the holiday season. This love of apple picking began when I met my husband.
Fun Fact: It can take an apple tree 4 to 5 years to produce it’s first fruit. If you look at a standard size apple tree, it will start bearing fruit 8-10 years after its planted. Dwarf apple trees begin bearing fruit earlier on; in 3 to 5 years.
Just think of being asked by your boyfriend to go apple picking. What a perfect date, especially for a city girl. To me, it feels as though our love for one another, our girls and our tradition of apple picking, baking and sharing our pies are all tied together. So simple, so perfect.
Fun Fact: If you want apples to ripen faster, leave them at room temperature. Refrigerated apples take six to ten times longer to ripen.
Apple picking first included the two of us picking apples and baking. We then included friends. I remember apple picking, laughing, walking through the apple orchard and devouring apple cider donuts. We had to have those apple cider donuts. Memories indelibly written in my mind include driving with our friend to a scenic overlook, savoring those deliciously, decadent, sweet, warm, donuts and just being at peace.
Fun Fact: The science of apple growing is called pomology.
Another year our friends didn’t want to pick apples but they did join us for baking pies. Anyone that bakes 8 to 10 pies in a day knows it can be exhausting. We all had a great time but after that our friends preferred seeing us after the apple pies were baked. This still brings a smile to my face.
Fun Fact: When you bob for apples, they float. Do you know why? Apples float because 25% of their volume is air.
Our traditional apple picking excursion changed over the years. Our first daughter joined us and the experience was totally new; she brought wonder into the mix. She looked at everything differently, so our view of the world changed.
Fun Fact: The energy from 50 leaves is needed to produce one apple.
Now there was magic and excitement when she picked an apple, placed it in her bag, or enjoyed the first bite. The magic went beyond the apple picking. There was joy when she went and sat with the pumpkins and played on the old tractor in the field. As she got older, it became an adventure filled with hayrides and playing in the field.
Fun Fact: Apples are members of the rose family.
Fun Fact: In China, the word for apple is ‘ping’ which means peace. This is the reason why apples are a favorite gift to give when visiting in China.
When our second daughter came home and we brought her apple picking, an apple and the experience was new to her. She took everything in. Amazed, excited and in awe, you could almost see her processing this new delight. For a little girl who spent her first years in an orphanage, away from stimulation, this was bliss.
Fun Facts:How many of you know the song, A Bushel and a Peck? A peck of apples weighs 10.5 pounds and a bushel of apples weighs 42 pounds. Now you can get a better understanding of the lyrics meaning.
“I stand holding the apple in both hands. It feels precious, like a heavy treasure. I lift it up and smell it. It has such an odour of outdoors that I want to cry.” – Margaret Atwood, Alias Grace
Fun Fact: Apples contain high levels of boron. This can help your memory, mental alertness, and electrical activity in the brain.
Now the girls are older; they enjoy apple picking, but the real fun comes from baking the pies. Hours of baking are filled with candid conversations, sharing of music, much laughter and quite a bit of creativity. My older daughter has taken my plain pies to a new level. The pie crusts are works of art with her crafting of the dough. My little one is quite the pro with the apple peeler and continually shows me how to have fun with every part of the apple pie making process.
Fun Facts: Did you know Malusdomesticaphobia is the fear of apples? The name Malusdomesticaphobia comes from the apple’s scientific name, Malus domestica in the Rose family ( Rosaceae).
For years, we’ve frozen the baked pies and delivered them to neighbors as we trick or treated on Halloween. It’s special to share a little joy and make our neighbors smile. It gives each of us a warm feeling and one of belonging.
Fun Fact: Apples are an excellent source of fiber, they contain 0 grams of fat or sodium and have no cholesterol.
This year for the first time, the girls gave me names for the pie list. They wanted to make their friends smile and feel good. I felt my heart skip, my girls picked up on the most important ingredient, the spreading and sharing of love. Our tradition will always be part of them. I am so grateful to God for such a blessing.
Fun Fact: The average apple has 10 seeds.
A 23 year tradition filled with love, friendship, sharing, comfort, peace and hope. If you have the chance to go apple picking, next time don’t put it off or say no, start your tradition and enjoy the beauty and love that manifests.
A Little Bit of History: Was there really a Johnny Appleseed?
Yes, Johnny Appleseed was a real person, but his name was John Chapman. He was born to Nathanial and Elizabeth Chapman, one of three children, on September 26, 1774 and lived in Leominster, Massachusetts. When his mother, Elizabeth died, his father remarried, Lucy Cooley and had 10 additional children.
At age 13, John was given an apprenticeship to an orchardist, Mr. Crawford, who raised apple trees. John had a facination with apples and their symbolic importance. His interest grew under the tutelage of Mr. Crawford. By 18, John wanted to plant apple trees and “spread knowledge while reminding residents of their immortality.”
When he turned 18, John went west with his brother, Nathaniel. They reached Ohio, at about the same time the rest of their family arrived. Nathaniel stayed with the family while John continued to roam.
John traveled through Pennsylvania, Ohio, Indiana and Illinois, harvesting apple orchards and constructing fences to keep animals away from the trees. In addition to planting trees, John also preached the teachings of Swedenborgianism or the New Church (believed God was to be worshipped through one form, Jesus Christ) to settlers and American Indian tribes.
He had enough money to buy clothing, yet he chose instead to barter with saplings for his clothing. He used his money to improve his apple business and help other people. John refused to use grafting to start his orchards because he thought the process would harm the plants. Instead John used the seeds to grow the saplings. This is why he carried a large sack of seeds everywhere he traveled.
Trees that grew from grafting were just like the parent trees. Because John used seeds, this allowed the trees to adapt to the environment, creating new varieties of apples. The initial trees that grew were not for eating, they were for making apple cider. The trees that adapted to the environment were later used for eating.
By the time he died, John Chapman owned more than 1,200 acres of land across Pennsylvania, Ohio, Indiana and Illinois. In those days, you could claim land if you planted 50 trees.
Washington, DC, Senator Sam Houston of Texas made a speech honoring John Chapman after his death. He said his work was a labor of love. He was liked by settlers and American Indians.
Varieties of Apples
Do you ever wonder how many varieties of apples exist? Each year as I ask for our bag for our apples and the women at the apple stand provide the litany of apple options to pick, I just wonder, how many apple variations are there and is there really a recognizable difference. I always supply the same response, please point me toward the direction of the best baking apple options and that is what they do.
I have the same thought as I walk through the grocery store and see all the apple options available. I wonder how someone decides on the apples that should be sold. Does it go according to taste or price? Do they provide options for those that just want to eat apples of also for the bakers?
Well, Dan Bussey has spent over 30 years compiling information for his seven volume, 3,000 page manuscript listing 17,000 apple varieties that have grown between 1623 and 2000. This encyclopedia is called “The Illustrated History of Apples in North America.” This 30 year quest started out as a curiosity. He wanted to see how many old apples he came across.
Prior to the publishing of the encyclopedia, John Bunker, an apple historian in Maine said, “This will be the most important book ever published in North America about apples. There has been nothing like it and there will never again be something like it.” The volumes include the apple’s common name, a visual discription of the apple, breeding history and geographic range.
Most grocers will carry 12 varieties of apples. To find the others you’d have to visit various orchards.
We’re old and worn. We’ve given and will continue to give companionship, comfort, joy and that special loving connection.
Here are four bears, each splendid in their own way. These bears as tattered and worn, continue to be loved and cherished. Understanding their stories will help explain why such a love connection developed over the years and continues to exist and hold strong.
How did it all start? That’s simple. The bears were gifts, given out of love. Each one accepted with excitement and joy.
The four bears continue to celebrate life’s experiences, including birthdays, car rides, eating at restaurants, movies, celebrating holidays, sleepovers, hospital stays and vacations in different states and countries. These bears know and understand hurt, sorrow, love, joy, anger, happiness, regret, fear, hopelessness, gratitude and excitement.
Along with the fun and laughter, the bears also endure the pain and tribulations of life. After all this time, the bears know more about tears and the sharp pain that sometimes resonates and racks their loved one’s bodies more than anyone else. The love connection is so strong. Each of these bear’s can soothe and continue to provide comfort quietly, just by being present. So simple.
How do they soothe? They love without judgement and cuddle without objection. A simple rub against a face, a smothering hug or a rigid grasp each provide a tranquilizing effect. Each of these bears are loved. The bears are priceless and non-replaceable.
Courage and Comfort
The first Pooh on the left is and has been a companion of my younger girl, for a little over 10 years. My daughter was about 3 years old when Pooh came into her life. Pooh became one of her stuffed friends. Over time, he stole her heart. This tiny girl began to hold her Pooh by his neck and take him everywhere; the reason for his now limp neck. Pooh bear continues to provide my daughter with more comfort and courage than I could have thought possible.
The most profound memory of Pooh alleviating Rayna’s pain and discomfort was when she had heart surgery at age five. Following the surgery she had a difficult time. She woke up, threw up blood, cried and went back to sleep. The second time, she woke, she threw up blood, looked at it and and then began to cry again. This time though, she apologized for throwing up and making a mess and then said, if I could only have Pooh Bear, I’ll be better. This poor little suffering child just needed her Pooh Bear for comfort, not us, just her Pooh Bear.
We were allowed to give our daughter her Pooh Bear. She grabbed him by his neck, smiled and went right back to sleep in peace. She clung to her Pooh Bear. Pooh Bear had quite the hospital stay. He was thrown up on, washed and was back to provide comfort. In the days that followed, when a blood pressure cuff was placed on her arm, the nurse also provided one on Pooh Bear. Pooh also had his own mask.
I could never have imagined one stuffed animal providing such comfort. I look at Pooh Bear and I’m so grateful that this bear is and has been part of our family.
Companionship and Love
Pooh Bear on the right, has been my older daughter’s companion and soother for almost 15 years. This Pooh Bear was a replacement for another Pooh Bear. I wanted my husband to buy 2 replacement Pooh Bears that were the same so if something happened to one, we had the other. I saw how distraught our daughter was when she had to give her one Pooh Bear up so we could wash him when he was thrown up on. We couldn’t find another Pooh Bear like the one she had so I thought two new Pooh Bears could solve the problem. Well it didn’t work out as I had planned.
My husband, took my daughter to the store on their quest and came home with this Pooh Bear that played music. This was the last bear and our daughter fell in love with him. We basically were in the same boat that we were in when we started. We had a one of a kind Pooh Bear.
My husband soon found out what having a one of a kind bear meant. My husband and daughter brought Pooh Bear everywhere they went, to the park, shopping and on any other errands. One day this included a visit to a new garage to have the car fixed. They waited and then came home, our daughter had fallen asleep during the errand and was still asleep when they arrived home.
Unbeknownst to my husband, Pooh Bear did not make it home with them. When our daughter woke, the search for Pooh Bear was on. My husband retraced their steps and realized, in all likelihood, the bear had to be at the garage. He drove back and standing their he found this huge guy that must have lifted weights decorated with multiple tattoos holding up Pooh Bear. He asked my husband, did you forget your bear? All laughing aside, the seriousness of separation from our daughter’s Pooh Bear was now known.
Our older daughter has slept with her Pooh Bear for years, when she is over tired or upset, you can still see her take Pooh Bear and rub his nose on her face. Pooh’s eyes and nose have been stitched up many times. We will keep on patching him up as best we can.
Injured Bear
The injured bear with the broken arm was given to my mother after a car accident. I would never have thought about sending her flowers with a stuffed animal; that just wasn’t my mother. Her having time for a stuffed animal; ridiculous.
Well my cousins knew better than I. For whatever reason, at age 70, she found comfort in this little bear. Was it that my dad had passed on by this time and this little stuffed animal provided her with this symbol of love that she could keep around her? I just don’t know for sure, but I do know this, the little bear was close to her heart. She would actually speak to me about this little stuffed animal when she called. This was so odd to me to witness. When she knew she was dying, she said I could take her bear. So I guess the relevance or comfort a bear can give transcends one’s age.
Musical Bear
The last bear is small and scrawny but just as endearing. I can’t say that I remember who gave me the bear or when, nor can I say that I slept with this bear for comfort. I do know though that this bear played music and moved it’s neck. Whenever I was upset, off my bookshelf this bear would come. I would sit and wind it up over and over, and wait until I felt better.
When I moved out of my parent’s house, this bear came with me and was placed in a drawer. Again, after I married and moved, this bear came along. I take the bear out every once in awhile to show my girls and I smile at this tiny bear that gave me comfort.
Each of these bears hold their own magic. They help calm and assuage the aching hearts of others. The bears are not new and fluffy but instead, worn and weathered.
How is possible that a stuffed animal can provide solace, or be the healing balm for a child or adult? Do stuffed animals have such power?
According to psychoanalysts, psychologists, psychiatrists and therapists, objects just like these wonderful teddy bears help us with our emotional well-being and development. I no longer complain about the stuffed animals that continue to come into our home.
D.W. Winnicott, a pediatrician and psychoanalyst, first spoke about the special value of these transitional objects in 1951. D.W. Winnicott explained that these objects help the child move from the oral relationship with their mothers to genuine object relationships.
Developmental psychologist, Robert Kegan indicated, objects like stuffed animals, are important for human development. Colleen Goddard, a Child Development Specialist, stated, “The object allows for and invites emotional well-being, and without such an object, true feelings may be concealed, suppressed, or dismissed as the infant/child has no other means by which to cope with, comprehend, and contend with the world.”
Corrine Sweet, psychologist tells us cuddling a teddy bears “…evokes a sense of peace, security and comfort. It’s human nature to crave these feelings from childhood to adult life” (Llorens, 2012).” In addition, studies show, “touching a teddy bear can lessen the adverse psychological effects of social exclusion and reduce stress (Jarrett, 2011)”.
Fun Fact
The Teddy Bear is named after President Theodore Roosevelt. In November 1902, during a Mississippi hunting trip, President Roosevelt refused to kill a bear that had been clubbed by hunting guides and tied to a tree. President Roosevelt told his guides that “it would be unsportsmanlike to kill a defenseless animal that way.”
Clifford Berryman, a political cartoon artist, drew a newspaper cartoon, “Drawing the Line in Mississippi” to reference the refusal to shoot the bear but also to illustrate the boundary dispute between Mississippi and Louisiana. Well that image of the bear inspired a shopkeeper.
A, Brooklyn, New York, shopkeeper Morris Michtom and his wife Rose, made a stuffed fabric bear in honor of the President and displayed it with a sign, “Teddy’s bear,” in their store window. Customers were interested in purchasing the bear. Morris and Rose Michtom requested permission to use his name for their stuffed toy which was granted. This started Michtom’s company that manufactured teddy bears and other toys.
So for over 100 years, teddy bears have been gracing our homes and providing love and comfort to generations. Never under estimate the power and significance of the tattered worn out bears you see adorning a book shelf or stuffed into a closet. They give comfort and joy just as they are in their current state.
Remember, they are also contributing to our well-being. So, enjoy the bear, stuffed animal, blanket or other significant object that you hold close to your heart.
Throughout our lives, we have occurrences or experiences that stay with us because of their impact, whether on an emotional or physical level. The occurrence or experience seems to shape us or cause our direction in life to change in some way. We find these experiences to be momentous or maybe soothing or moving. So, we cling and every so often reflect on these experiences of coincidence or divine intervention.
If I broaden my view, I be need to consider the wisdom within, The Secret by Rhonda Byrne’s. The book explains how thoughts and the law of attraction come together to make things happen. If we change our thoughts, believe and live as though we have the things we want, this positivity will cause the universe to align and make this happen.
“Coincidences are not accidents but signals from the universe which can guide us toward our true destiny.” – Deepak Chopra
For me, I deem the origin of the experiences I’m about to share, to be divine in nature. I don’t feel they are coincidences. If you ask my girls whether these experiences are coincidences or caused by divine intervention, my younger daughter would say, coincidences. My older daughter, being a little bit older and having experienced more of life, is more reflective, she would say, there’s something special about the experiences. She is not ready to say it’s divine in nature or just life.
Divine Intervention
Before we move forward, let’s define and interpret ‘divine intervention‘ so we’re on the same page. I think it’s fair to say, this is when a diety gets involved with human happenings.
So what does this really mean. For me, I believe divine intervention can be a strong inner feeling, calling, yearning or occurrence that can’t be explained by what’s taking place at a point in time. Or hearing a voice within your being, leading you in a direction.
Coincidence
According to the Merriam-Webster dictionay, a coincidence is “the occurrence of events that happen at the same time by accident but seem to have some connection.”
In an article, Are Coincidences Signs from God?, Sharon Hewlitt Rawlett indicates, ‘A 2009 survey of people affiliated with the University of Missouri-Columbia found that “the most strongly endorsed explanations for coincidences were God and fate” (Coleman, Beitman, & Celebi 2009: 269).’
To complicate things further, from the quote above, it seems some also interchange coincidences, divine intervention and destiny. Read the articles by Sonya Downing and Stephanie Englehart to learn more.
Is God always there guiding our lives so divine intervention is nothing other than normal course? Okay, different points of view. You as the reader, must decide for yourself. Look at your experiences and see what you think.
I’m including some experiences we can look at and evaluate. You see where you land with each of these. I can’t logically fit these occurrences in the category of coincidences. My litmus test is to first see if the experience was random or moving. If the experience was random and really caused no emotional tug at the heart, I consider this more of a coincidence. If the experience was emotional and in the end provided comfort, to me this is of a divine nature. An experience, like a healing balm, that allows us to move forward toward change, closure or renewal is divine intervention.
An Eagle Brings a Message
After my dad had a stroke, a cousin called. She wanted to know what happened to my father. We still hadn’t called to tell our family about his stroke. My cousin explained, while fishing with her sister, an eagle flew overhead and started circling their boat. They moved the boat and the eagle followed and continued to circle above them. My younger cousin told her sister, something happened to Uncle Johnny. Her sister didn’t understand. My younger cousin elaborated and said, it’s the eagle, it’s his message, we need to go home now.
Our priest explained to us, John the Evangelist symbolizes the eagle. My father’s name was John. Was he getting the message out to the family through God? The priest also said, the signs are there for those who are willing to see them.
A Kiss Good-bye
My 8 year old niece, was with her other grandfather when we called and said my father passed away. He began explaining what happened to her Papa John. My niece said, I already know, he kissed me on the cheek good-bye.
A Message of Hope
Adopting our second child was a long journey riddled with so many emotional ups and downs. The process to bring our younger child home from start to finish was three years and seven months.
You couldn’t imagine our joy when after three years and two months of waiting, we had our daughter’s picture in hand. We were going to China. Within a month, all of the last required documents were in place. We were set, we just need approval from China to travel. We were so elated and antsy , we could’ve jumped our of our skin.
March passed with no news. Thankfully in April, we contacted a store in China that could visit the orphanage and bring gifts. We sent treats, clothes, toys to be shared and an album with some pictures of us and her home specifically for our daughter. The woman from the store surprised us on Easter morning, with pictures of our daughter. It was truly a gift from God. We were ecstatic. This kept us going.
May passed and other people with the same paperwork dates traveled to China. Our agency couldn’t explain why our approval to travel hadn’t come. By the end of June our spirits plummeted. We made calls to our agency trying to find out the problem. We felt something had gone so wrong.
The Rainbabies
Life continued as we moved into July. I pulled out a picture book we recently purchased, The Rainbabies by Laura Kraus Melmed and read it to my older daughter. It was about a couple that had been blessed with comforts, but not with a baby to love and call their own.
One night the luck of the Moonshowers brought them 12 rainbabies to love. Not too long after, a man came to their door. He was a messenger sent by a woman of wealth. The messenger offered the couple wealth, a moonstone, in exchange for the rainbabies. The couple refused.
The messenger took the moonstone and placed it around his neck. At this point, the messenger transforms into Mother Moonshower.
Mother Moonshower thanks the couple for protecting her children from dangers born of water, fire and earth. The couple proved themselves to be worthy parents, but the rainbabies could only grow properly with Mother Moonshower’s help. As a gift she gave the couple a baby girl with hair like the midnight sky, Rayna.
I lost it; I could not stop crying. In our paperwork, we named our daughter Rayna. I knew the message was clear, God was going to move mountains so we could bring our Rayna home. There was no longer doubt about the success of this adoption.
A week later, we received a call at midnight from our agency. Our agency reached out to the Chinese Ministry and received our permission to go to China. Two weeks later we were in China picking up our daughter, Rayna.
I feel God provided the hope and inner strength, I so needed, but could no longer muster. After this experience, I knew with all my heart that we were bringing Rayna home from China.
Coincidence or Divine Convention?
Coincidence, divine intervention or the law of attraction, you decide. For me, I was at a low point and had lost hope that the adoption would take place. My resolve dwindled with each passing day. I believe God interceded and set events in motion, from including The Rainbabies in the pile of books ordered, to my selection to read it that day when I was at a low point.
Maybe some would say the ordering of this particular book, and decision to read it at this particular time was a coincidence. I believe this was divine intervention. The story, the daughter’s name being Rayna, it felt like more than a coincidence. It was as though God was speaking directly to me. He let me know he was going to make this happen.
We had picked the name, Rayna because the name meant, “Song of the Lord.” My husband and I had said, if this adoption was going to happen, it was God who was going to make it happen. We felt it was a perfect name. And in the end, he sent us a message and blessed us with Rayna.
We each have to listen to facts and decide what’s logical and what feels like our truth. Then we have the facts to make decisions as to what we want to believe. I believe in divine intervention.
Sonya Downing’s brother would disagree with my view. He would say, God is always working around us and making things happen. So it was divine but not divine intervention.
Deepak Chopra thinks coincidences are signals from the universe. Does Deepak agree with the law of attraction? Were these experiences moving me toward my destiny?
I just think each of these experiences were divine. I also believe, God intervened and shared his plan. He touched my cousin’s heart, my niece’s heart and my heart with his message. My cousin knew a message about my father was being passed to her. My niece knew her Papa John had to leave her, but not before saying good-bye with a kiss. I knew Rayna was coming home. He gave us the healing balm we needed to accept and move forward.
Grace helps us understand the mysteries within the church. Maybe for my cousin, niece and myself, grace provided us the faith needed so we could witness his acts of divine intervention.
I would love to hear your stories and let me know what you think. Are these examples of coincidence, divine intervention or the law of attraction? Send some of your own examples. I would love to hear them.
Read More About Coincidences, Divine Intervention and The Secret
Each of us find joy in many things, yet we so rarely verbalize our gratitude. Maybe the COVID-19 pandemic is giving me cause to be more reflective or it could be age. I see things differently and know to give thanks. Now I look closely and see the importance of moments that impact me as a woman, wife, mom, working mother, daughter, sister, aunt and fellow human being. I have points of view from my different perspectives and I’m filled with gratitude for my experiences.
As my thoughts and perspectives converge, I see the simple experiences and interactions mean the most. I’m so grateful for these heart warming moments I now cherish. Stolen glimpses of heaven on earth.
Gratitude goes beyond the ‘mine’ and ‘thine’ and claims the truth that all of life is a pure gift. In the past I always thought of gratitude as a spontaneous response to the awareness of gifts received, but now I realize that gratitude can also be lived as a discipline. The discipline of gratitude is the explicit effort to acknowledge that all I am and have is given to me as a gift of love, a gift to be celebrated with joy. – Henri J.M. Nouwen
As of late, I’ve been reminiscing with family and friends. This brought to light how lucky my family is to have our own oasis and thus this feeling of gratitude. Our oasis may be unusual, but it certainly has provided and continues to provide us with many of our most treasured memories and moments.
Our Oasis Comes to Being
Funny, this all came about on a whim. My husband and I made a quick decision. We decided to extend the driveway to include the grassy area to the right of our fenced in yard. I’m grateful for this perfect decision.
With much gratitude, I can say, this paved area is the equivalent of my Brooklyn, New York stoop; the place where I played stoop ball, met our neighbors or waited for the ice-cream man. To my children and husband it is just a place to enjoy some free time and relax. This is fine, it should be this way for them.
Grateful for Oasis Adventures
Our oasis is our place for doing all sorts of things. Over ten plus years, our oasis has been used to draw with chalk, chase lightening bugs, ride bikes, scooters, jump rope, play volleyball, basketball, badminton, Simon Says, read books, have beach days, eat ice pops, wash cars or just sit and enjoy family discussions.
Our younger daughter gets used to her first car.
We had our daughter’s first art show here and used the area for many lemonade and garage sales.
After my daughter spent a summer creating graphic images and framing them, she had an art show to display and sell pictures.
This is our safe place for trying new things and learning skills. The family discussions here are the best. Who would have thought by chance we would have found a creative spot for our family discussions. What better way to touch each other with words than when we’re relaxed with our guards down. Then we speak from the soul.
So many beautiful experiences have taken place here. This is where my older daughter learned how to ride her bike without training wheels, my younger daughter experienced snow here for the first time. I want to savor these memories forever.
Mother’s Day 2013, my older daughter learned how to ride her bike without training wheels. With determination, perseverance and unending energy, she accomplished her goal. A special milestone memory.
Yes, an unusual oasis, but perfect for bonding and seeing the simplistic events are sometimes the most significant. Now when I look out my window, I see a paved oasis with years of beautiful memories and I feel gratitude.
Looking for ways to bond with your kids? For me, the answer is an absolute,” yes.”
One of my daughters is a teen and the other is just about there. They no longer have that need for constant nurturing and supervision. Now they are testing and directing their own actions. This is great. Right? How else will they begin to spread their wings?
Well for me, and I’m sure some of you, this is sometimes difficult. It’s a little hurtful and exciting at the same time. The period of being so needed though, is over, and rightfully so; that stage is in the past where it should be.
Instead of being sad that I’m not the “apple of their eyes,” I want to celebrate this change. It means success. They feel independent enough to test the waters and find their way in the world. Do a happy dance, celebrate!
Okay, what do we do to stay close to our kids? I want to have a strong relationship with my daughters. I want them to feel comfortable enough with our relationship to always open up. I want them to know, no topic or problem is taboo. Over the years, I’ve learned what happens when children keep their feelings, worries and problems bottled up. I’m doing everything in my power to decrease preventable emotional pains. It’s so much happier and easier to find ways to connect instead of heal.
So, what do we do to get closer to our kids? Well, as bad as the COVID-19 pandemic is, it has also afforded me with new and interesting ways to bond with my daughters and family as a whole. Before COVID-19, I thought the family dinner time was all but gone. With extracurricular and school activities encroaching on meal time, it was a rarity to have the slow sit down time. COVID-19 has given us back, family time. For the last four months, we now enjoy more family meals, game nights and our backyard.
We spend time playing badminton, volleyball, riding bikes, scooters or having barbecues and picnics. Board games, like; Trouble, Sorry, Scrabble and Life have been retrieved from closets. I don’t want to build this up to sound more than what it is, so let me clarify the point; we are doing these things, not every night but more often than ever before.
Our latest bonding activity has taken place over the last three weeks. Now if you asked me three weeks ago if this is an activity to tout as a family bonding activity, I would have said, “no way.” You see, the activity was watching, Avatar: The Last Airbender, a series about a boys journey to save the world. I normally don’t believe “cartoons/animated adventures” provide much depth for family discussions.
Okay, so now I need to adjust my opinion of things. I was so very wrong. My older daughter persuaded me to purchase and watch the Avatar: The Last Airbender series and I’m so happy she did. Not only was this a great opportunity to spend time with both my daughters, it opened up dialogues on many topics we may never have touched on, and we bonded.
I’d have to say, the story line and the powerful characters and their growth, each in their own right, automatically stimulated our conversations. We spoke about where the story was going, the decisions the characters needed to make, family, friendship, the difference between good and evil, the things in life that sway a person to go one way or another and the option of being able to try to right our wrongs. The episodes and characters led to thought provoking conversations.
We discussed the character traits we each liked or could relate to along with character decisions we agreed and disagreed with in the episodes. I don’t think I know of another series that provided so much fodder for thought and conversation. Honestly, I’m grateful for each conversation I’ve been able to have with my daughters because of watching this series.
Go watch Avatar with your kids and see what you think. If you have no kids, watch the series on your own; it will be time well spent. Enjoy and let me know what you think. Were you able to discuss the series with your kids? Did it help you bond?
So, yes this was one of the unlikely ways I would have thought to bond, but in the end I found out it was a perfect opportunity. I must be more open and creative in my thinking so I do not miss future bonding opportunities. Do you have any thoughts on ways to bond? Let me know, I’m always interested in what else I can try.
“The bond that links your true family is not one of blood, but of respect and joy in each others life.” – Richard Bach
“To take a child from its mother seemed to be the lowest thing a human being could do. Yet it was as if we had drawn up in a lifeboat in a most turbulent sea.” – Eleanor Kraus
My daughters would say I’m ‘vibing’ today. I have to agree; with a day off to read, I’m definitely ‘vibing,’ according to their slang. What an absolute luxury. I’m in paradise.
I just finished the book, 50 Children by Steven Pressman. I’m not sure if the book teaser about the amazing rescue story or my love of history influenced my desire and need to read this book. Yes, I do say need, you see as an avid, impassioned reader, I always need to have a few books ‘at the ready’ to devour at a moments notice. This is actually one of three books I’m presently reading.
Reading relaxes me. That’s why you’ll find me reading at all hours. This is my release; reading gives me back my balance.
What do I think of this book? I think Steven Pressman did an excellent job of providing facts while also expressing the competing agendas of various political factions and the humanitarian calling of the Kraus’. It’s sometimes difficult to provide facts while also relaying depth of compassion, resolve, fear and wonder. Steven Pressman manages to do this well.
50 Children exemplifies how those with faith and fortitude can basically overcome insurmountable odds and succeed with their goals. Adversity, including, negative press, delays, roadblocks, changing political climate, mortal danger is no match for people with a vision. Gilbert and Eleanor Kraus rescue 50 Viennese children from their dire existence in Vienna during the Nazis’ policy of Judenrein (the exclusion of Jews in Vienna and Berlin in 1938 and 1939).
It’s easy to understand the difficulty of coordinating such an undertaking, but when I let myself go, I could feel the depth of the tremendously difficult heart wrenching emotional decisions the Kraus’ made and the toll they must’ve taken on both of them. Look at what they needed to do; they met family after family, shook their hands, smiled, listened and in the end they picked 50 children to go with them, while knowing the plight of all the parents and children left behind was catastrophic and tragic.
Could I’ve done this? I honestly have my doubts. The strength of this couple amazes me. They had children of their own. They knew what these parents were feeling. Take a minute and just think about this burden. Then think about the choices the parents had to make; they’re just as awful.
I find the thought of sending my child away to the unknown (yes, hoping they will be safe but not knowing) while also knowing it may be the last time I see them, absolutely horrifying. On the other hand, thinking about keeping them with me in harms way, knowing each day there is a greater possibility of the whole family being sent to a work camp or killed, even worse. How conflicted and emotionally tortured were these parents? Their reality most likely was concentrating on survival, each family member’s survival. How could they all get out?
Eleanor said of the fathers, “They looked so lifeless, so hopeless, so forlorn. Only one thing seemed to be left to these men, and that was pride in their children.” She witnessed one mother, Rosa Weisz saying to her child, “If you leave, your life will be saved, and then I will have a better chance of saving my own life.”
These families were desperate; this had to work out for them. Eleanor said when they asked each of the 50 families to meet them to complete paperwork, they arrived two hours earlier to prepare, but when they got there, the 50 families had already been waiting there for two hours. I could feel the goose pumps on my arms just reading about this. Sure, they arrived four hours early, the walls were closing in on them.
In the end Gil and Eleanor picked the 50 children. Feel Eleanor’s anguish and pain she describes during their questioning. “Will you leave your mama and papa and come to America with us? And each time the question was asked, I died a little more.”
I was emotional while reading this book; happy, sad and in awe of the courage of these two ordinary citizens, destined to be heroes. Read Steven Pressman’s book to learn about this rescue and the European and American political environment during this period. It is thought provoking. If interested in buying the book, at this time, Bookoutlet.com and Walmart are selling it for under $7. The other vendors I checked were higher.
“Shine your soul with the same egoless humility as the rainbow and no matter where you go in the world or the next, love will find you, attend you, and bless you.” – Aberjhani, Journey through the Power of the Rainbow: Quotations from a Life Made Out of Poetry
This week we were blessed. We celebrated my younger daughter’s 10th Gotcha Day. What’s a Gotcha Day? It’s the anniversary of the day on which a child joins a family by adoption. This date may differ from the actual adoption day.
For us, our younger daughter’s Gotcha Day ended a three and a half year journey. It was the culmination of years of prayer, hope, excitement, wonder, sadness, stress, and delays. You can describe it, maybe, as a bitter-sweet experience. For us, God set our path and we knew love was our guide no matter what obstacle came our way. And the obstacles were many, but so were the amazing blessings.
We celebrate our daughter’s life, the miracle of her existence and ongoing growth. We thank God for his wondrous plan and for all those he placed in our path to make this miracle come to fruition.
What did we find when we arrived at the Adoption Center ten years ago? A child held in God’s palm. A beautiful nineteen pound little girl, then two years and seven months old. She was initially inconsolable, hoarse from crying and exhausted from her ordeal of riding three hours in a van to the city.
We were finally able to calm her a bit when a water stick with a ball that floated back and forth caught her eye. We had our opening, you could see it in her eyes; they danced and lit up. What was this thing? How did the ball go back and forth? The wonder of this object broke her misery.
We quickly began sharing other things that intrigued her; a recorder that played Winnie the Pooh songs, a small board book, her own Winnie the Pooh. Relief, we could all breathe and relax. Our older daughter, five at the time, came out from hiding behind us, her place of retreat when the crying didn’t stop. Our family unit was now in tune with one another.
Once back at the hotel, we found she would not fit in any of the 2 – 3 year old toddler clothing we brought. She was still in 6-9 month old clothing, could not eat solid food, wasn’t able to speak and could only stand and walk a few steps before going back to crawling. Every change in her environment brought on another bout of uncontrollable crying.
What else? She was and still is a miracle, a ray of sunshine with a smile that could and still can light up a room. Her eyes danced and continue to dance with love and laughter. She was and is a joy.
We also celebrate the memories of those we met along the way and the friendships that have continued over time. Poy, a lovely young girl working at the hotel on the courtesy floor was our light. She was so kind always ready to help with directions, email access, snacks for the girls and anything else we needed. Poy was also such a source of encouragement and support. Just her smile greeting us as we walked in, lifted all our spirits. God sent us a guardian angel to help us along the way.
Funny, the girls still have the crown tiara she bought for our younger daughter and markers for drawing for our older daughter. Over the years, she has sent them a blow up pool and wishes for their 100 Good Wishes Albums. Isn’t it amazing? A chance meeting touched us forever.
We also think about our adoption guide, David. Once we found our little one couldn’t eat solids and wouldn’t drink milk or formula, he immediately picked up a special tea for children packed with vitamins. He helped us figure out dishes we could order for our daughter that she could eat like, steamed eggs with soy sauce, soup, and Congee.
We give thanks for our friends that watched our home and decorated for our return. It was a beautiful surprise that will always be remembered. The girls had gift baskets and decorated rooms and we had a refrigerator filled with fresh food. For a travel wearied family, this was our nirvana.
One of our younger daughter’s names is Jing, meaning crystal. The Chinese characters for crystal are three suns. We gave our daughter this name because she sparkles like a crystal. God has granted us a gift that sparkles, shines and provides more light than three suns. So yes, we celebrate. We are grateful for being granted such blessings. Gotcha Day is a very special day.
“I go to nature to be soothed and healed, and to have my senses put in order. – John Burroughs
The stresses of work and life are so overwhelming at times. How do I bring back balance? For me, a walk on a nearby path gives me back my perspective so I can transcend the noise around me.
This beautiful fawn along with its mother and siblings brought me peace and joy one recent morning. I felt as if I had intruded on something so simple and beautiful, a family’s time together. The simplicity of existence. This provided a clear message. Let go of the burdens and the pressures, just live and enjoy the simple blessings that surround me.
“The waves of the sea help me get back to me.” – Jill Davis
The ocean piques my senses. I can see, smell and hear the ocean’s strength, determination and resilience. The unending ebb and flow of the waves are calming, consistent and in a way majestic.
The ocean provides me with courage and reignites the drive in me to persevere and face my struggles head on. I’m so thankful for the ocean’s ability to speak to my soul.
“I took a walk in the woods and came out taller than the trees.” – Henry David Thoreau
I walk with nature and feel refreshed and born anew. Nature is my healing balm. Maybe it is the beauty or the solitude. Maybe God’s gifts are so clearly visible. I feel blessed and hopeful by the time I finish my walk.
“There is something infinitely healing in the repeated refrains of nature – the assurance that dawn comes after night, and spring after winter.” – Rachel Carson
Just as nature goes on, so must we. We must learn how to nurture our souls and persevere. This next part of my life, I seek spiritual alignment.
“There is a way that nature speaks, that land speaks. Most of the time we are simply not patient enough, quiet enough, to pay attention to the story.” – Linda Hogan
Just as nature speaks, we too as humans speak. How much of what we say is simply not heard? Do we take the time to listen to the quiet child or the angry teenager? How much have we missed of what our spouses have said in unspoken words? When do we stop to listen?
Maybe just as we learn to convene with nature, we too must learn how to communicate with one another. If we were actually communicating with one another, would we be living in a world with such social strife?
I think I shall focus on communicating and understanding others. I must remember, another can be communicating but not with spoken words.
