“Life isn’t about darkness or light, rather it’s about finding light within darkness.” – Landon Parham
Darkness comes into my life and teaches me what to cherish and grab onto and embrace. The importance and value of things, people and relationships becomes so clear.
Yes, I love the light that shows the way, but also the journey through the darkness. In the darkness I grow stronger and wiser. Rest assured though, once I reach the light, I’ll breath a sigh of relief, for then, I’ll feel and live with the joy of gratitude.
“The sea is emotion incarnate. It loves, hates, and weeps. It defies all attempts to capture it with words and rejects all shackles. No matter what you say about it, there is always that which you can’t.” – Christopher Paolini
The sea, whether in light or darkness, conjures feelings of wonder, beauty, excitement, vibrancy, mystery, power, gloom, panic, anger and fear. This is similar to my emotional essence and being. I am the sea, many times in turmoil, yet the calm eventually resurfaces and the light shines through to renew my tranquility.
“Light must come from inside. You cannot ask the darkness to leave; you must turn on the light.” – Sogyal Rinpoche
If I can only rekindle the spark of light within, I can endure. Give me that miracle, the small flicker. Where’s my starting point? Is it the unexpected smile, the act of kindness, the unspoken word, a touch? Is it today’s walk in the sunshine, the turtles on the tree limb, the tulips given as a surprise? Maybe it’s the faith that is unending or the grace given to me so long ago that now must be tapped. The power is within me, I must dig deeper to find it. The light is there.
“Breathe in and let yourself soar to the ends of the universe; breathe out and bring the cosmos back inside.”– Morihei Ueshiba
I know my light is within reach. With each breath I see boundless possibilities. I breathe out my hopes and dreams. I will learn to nourish the light so I can continue to soar. The desire is within me. Now I will fight with all my being and develop the strength needed to make things happen and change for the better.
“When sun shines, it not only brightens our day; it enlightens us, our soul, cleansing it of the gloominess that the night’s darkness had brought in.” – Tista Ray
I love walking in the warm sunlight; it’s like a soothing balm that permeates and renews my soul. This is the medicine needed to treat that beaten and battered heart and soul. The soul knows, I just wish I knew the secret to avoiding the blows that wreak havoc on my being. I know the answer will come and then the light from my soul will never dwindle and die.
“I will love the light for it shows me the way, yet I will endure the darkness because it shows me the stars.” – Og Mandino
Light gives me this soothing feeling of warmth that seems to energize my soul. Even on those frigid days, when walking with the sun’s rays bathing each of my steps, I feel new life coursing through my veins.
Funny, I can also recognize that I’ve had similar feelings while navigating through the darkest moments of my life. It seems that even in darkness, the glimmer of hope and the faith from within seem to conjure an energy and force that propels me forward so I can overcome. In the end, life brings me to a new place of wonder, maybe not the same as before but just as rewarding.
Embrace the light and the dark to find balance and your inner strength.
“In the right light, at the right time, everything is extraordinary.” – Aaron Rose
In life we look at an event and think, yes that was when God’s light was shining down and life was in alignment. Think back though, this is not always the case. Sometimes when things seem dark and bleak, our lives change through adversity but for the better.
Our plans, desires and dreams may seem perfect, but not attainable. Keep an open mind and don’t rebuke the dark paths we must travel. Growth and understanding, are sometimes the fruition borne of darkness.
Our family was created by God’s image of perfection. While living through two miscarriages, I had no idea the deep relentless heartache would be replaced by the joys of raising our two adopted beautiful daughters. They are symbols of God’s love and light. Darkness bore beautiful fruit.
“Give light and people will find the way.”
When we encounter each other, it’s difficult to know or understand each other’s journey, their highs and lows. Knowing this, I want to shine from within, maybe in this way I can ignite another’s candle that’s in need of a flame. This is my goal.
May we be each other’s beacon especially in such difficult times. The pandemic has cast a shadow that we must vanquish. Growth can be the outcome if we can be each other’s light.
“Some people are so much sunshine to the square inch.”
Learn from those that always shine, for they are the teachers that will change the world. I’ve been touched by people like this, they are truly gifts. People like this inspire me, they make me feel like this is attainable.
They’ve transcended fear and instead dance in the face of adversity. This is the true meaning of balance.
“Faith is the virtue of the storm, just as happiness is the virtue of the sunshine.” – Ruth Fulton Benedict
Faith is the virtue of the storm. To always know things will get better. We must not fold or lower ourselves into the darkness. Instead, stand firm, search for the glimmer of hope and light. If we can do this, the light will follow.
Love is universal, powerful and life’s nourishment. It provides us with an energy and a joy that can dispel loneliness, sorrow and despair. Valentine’s Day is a perfect day to reflect on this further.
There are so many faces of love. A parent’s love, new love, love of a friend, a child’s love and self-love just to start. Each different in its own way, but just as special and powerful.
A Child’s Love
Is love instinctive for a baby or child? I think it is. I remember my older daughter placed in my arms for the first time, and inconsolable. Her body wracked with tears. Unending sobbing. Then just as it started, it stopped. She quieted down and as I held her and patted her back, I felt her little tiny hand patting my back.
I couldn’t believe this beautiful child, feeling such heartache, felt our love and reciprocated it. Maybe I was naive or just not around young babies to know they have this amazing instinctive understanding of love.
When my husband and I returned from China we experienced more of these shows of love. As we walked in to wake her each morning, she’d stand in her crib with her arms outstretched, waiting for the first hug of the day. My husband and I would race to be the first one through the door so we could be enveloped in and return the love.
While in the bath, she’d be playing and then just stand up, stretch out her arms and give these wonderful wet hugs. Her love was constant and it was like food for our souls after praying and waiting for years for this blessing. God was showing us his love for us and our child.
Palm of His Hand
We adopted our younger daughter before her third birthday. From the beginning we understood God held her in the palms of his hand. Her capacity to feel and give love to this day seems to transcend the norm.
Our little girl only knew the orphanage. Taking her beyond those walls was jarring and threw her into an emotional state. Her only way to let us know her suffering was to cry, and that she did. This time around, we had experience with a child so we used our tools. We hugged, joked, laughed, cajoled, and coaxed our forlorn child. Nothing helped.
My husband then started playing with plastic cups and behold, our break through. Our daughter’s eyes lit up and she showed us her beauty and soul. A smile that I hold dear to my heart, spread across her face. This smile full of surprise, wonder, joy and love.
Her Heart Hears the Children
While out and about in China, Rayna pointed to children and cried. Not being around too many adults, she bonded with other children. She continues to be perceptive and connected to children’s feelings and is filled with compassion for them.
After being home a few months, she started school. The teachers shared how each day she consoled any crying child. To see another child suffer was too much for her. Her empathy is apparent; she seems to feel what others feel.
Sometimes when speaking with her, she’ll gently place a loose strand of hair behind my ear, always so tender. This last week, as a surprise, she played calm meditation music on my phone. I returned to my office to find this peaceful music playing. I asked her about it and she explained she felt my stress so she wanted me to feel peace.
She is filled with this innocent, protective, gentle love. It’s pure and simple. I believe her early experiences are forever with her and impact her present actions.
Parent’s Vision
As a parent, I now understand my parent’s so much more. God blesses us with small miracles. We care, teach and love our children to the best of our ability. Because of this we hurt when they hurt, feel their disappointments and their joys. We love them with every ounce of our being.
And how we worry. We worry about their health, schooling, and future. We want to shield them from all hardships. Of course that isn’t reality nor is it healthy. They must fly with their wings and find their way even if at times this means overcoming hardships, sorrows and failure.
Owen and Mzee
How many times do you hear or read of amazing animals? Do you know the story of Owen and Mzee? Owen, a baby hippopotamus separated from it’s mother, stranded on a reef, too weak to move is rescued. He is placed in an enclosure with a 130 year old tortoise, Mzee.
Owen immediately goes to Mzee. Mzee doesn’t want to be bothered. Each time Mzee moves, so does Owen. By the following day, Owen and Mzee accept each other.
Owen won’t eat. Mzee eats next to Owen as though teaching him how. This odd friendship/love saves Owen.
Is this instinct? I believe it’s a special kind of love. It heals and is full of power, energy and possibilities.
Souls Connected
Love comes to us at different times. Once you find a person to love, you feel as though you walk with an extra step, the world is a little brighter and things all seem to come together at once.
When you’re apart, you miss your companion and your heart aches. You’re constantly thinking of one another. Such comfort and familiarity, to know and understand someone so well you can finish their sentences.
Life and everything else all align. It feels as though two hearts beat as one.
The years go by and love changes. Trials and tribulations beat against the strong foundation you’ve built together. This is your power over loss, sickness, job changes, family woes. It weathers all storms. You just need to continue to see the good in one another and remember the connection, two hearts beating as one. Do not doubt your partner’s goodness and love. Trust in one another.
Remember all the insecurities, shortfalls and blemishes that were present when you dated – we’re human, we all have them. Instead of picking each other apart you chose to raise each other up to higher levels with love. She saw a gentle hero and that is what he became. He saw a kind, peaceful calming soul and that is what she became.
Maybe weathered but the love that is powerful, miraculous and forgiving endures.
Self-Love
To love another, you must first love yourself. Sometimes we concentrate on loving everyone else, and forget our self. You must remember to yourself. You are one of God’s miracles to be nurtured.
Conclusion
I could not finish this off without including Bible passage. There is so much being said here. Read it, think about it and live it.
1 Corinthians 13 – If I speak in the tongues of men or of angels, but do not have love, I am only a resounding gong or a clanging cymbal. If I have the gift of prophecy and can fathom all mysteries and all knowledge, and if I have a faith that can move mountains, but do not have love, I am nothing. If I give all I possess to the poor and give over my body to hardship that I may boast, but do not have love, I gain nothing.
Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud.It does not dishonor others, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs.Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth.It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres.
Love never fails. But where there are prophecies, they will cease; where there are tongues, they will be stilled; where there is knowledge, it will pass away.For we know in part and we prophesy in part,but when completeness comes, what is in part disappears.When I was a child, I talked like a child, I thought like a child, I reasoned like a child. When I became a man, I put the ways of childhood behind me.For now we see only a reflection as in a mirror; then we shall see face to face. Now I know in part; then I shall know fully, even as I am fully known.
And now these three remain: faith, hope and love. But the greatest of these is love.
“I miss the snow. I miss looking at it, walking in it, tasting it. I used to love those days when it was so cold everyone else would be tucked away inside trying to stay warm. I would be the only one out walking, so I could look across the fields and see miles of snow without a single footprint in it. It would be completely silent – no cars, no birds singing, no doors slamming. Just silence and snow.” – Damien Echols
Can you feel the silence and see the beauty of Damien Echols’ description of a pristine snow fall? I can.
Today, the weather forecast is calling for 18 to 24 inches of snow. I’m longing for this snowfall, along with it’s tranquility and quiet peace. This pending snow storm is stirring something within me. I’m feeling excitement and anticipation. This storm is triggering childhood memories, oh so many memories.
“Snow provokes responses that reach back to childhood. “ – Andy Goldsworthdy
I feel as though I’ve just taken a walk back in time. Decades ago a major snow storm hit New York City, the area was paralyzed. The snow storm wreaked havoc on businesses and caused the city to stand still.
For my family, this snow storm was a reprieve from the hustle and bustle and a chance to reconnect with the simplicities of life. The city turned into a Winter Wonderland.
“Snow makes cities innocent again, reveals the frailty of the human gesture against the void. ” – Glen Duncan
Vivid, beautiful memories of absolutely pure, unending pleasure almost seem to transport me back in time. The walls of our little home could not contain my brother’s or my excitement or jubilation.
“Snowflakes are one of nature’s most fragile things, but just look what they can do when they stick together. ” – Vista M. Kelly
An expectancy filled our home. The morning after the snow fall was serene. My father, with shovel in hand, walked outside. I followed and was shocked to be hit with the sound of nothingness. We lived on a busy two way street. How on earth could it be so quiet?
“Snow falling soundlessly in the middle of the night will always fill my heart with sweet clarity.” – Novala Takemoto
The silence overwhelmed me. I remember looking around in wonder. No cars were on the road, they couldn’t get through the snow, I was in awe of the peacefulness. All blanketed in white, sparkling and new. Such wonder, such a gift.
“The snow is sparkling like a million little suns.” – Lama Willa Miller
Everyone had to stay home, the roads were closed. This snow storm brought everyone out. I could see other fathers and a few kids emerging with their shovels.
While my dad shoveled the front of the house, my brother and I played in the backyard. We stood on the picnic table and just needed to fall backwards to make snow angels. Just so much snow. There’s no better feeling than launching yourself from a picnic table and being swallowed up by a soft blanket of snow. Just thrilling.
“A snow day literally and figuratively falls from the sky – unbidden – and seems like a thing of wonder. ” – Susan Orlean
By the time dad finished clearing the sidewalk, the alley and digging a path to the car, our friends were all out and about. We climbed up a huge mound of snow our fathers had piled high and carved a huge chair of snow. I have no idea what possessed us to make a chair but we did and each of us climbed up to sit in it. A separate mound was enough for us to climb and slide down. It was perfect.
“Silently, like thoughts that come and go, the snowflakes fall, each one a gem.” – William Hamilton Gibson
Chris, our neighbor, came out with his dog, Buddy. Buddy was huge, he’d drag us around when we held his leash. Well, him pulling us on the sled was even better. He just took off and I remember flying down the street. No cars on the streets, just heaven.
“With every falling flake, a unique spark of interest falls from heaven.” – P. Miller
The entrance way to our community drive that led to all our backyards was around the corner. Because the entrance way sloped down into a hill, it was perfect for sleigh riding. We spent hours there sleigh riding with what seemed like the whole neighborhood.
I headed home a few times because my pants were soaked. When I ran out of dry pants, my dad had to come up with a solution. Mom was sleeping; he was in charge.
We had no dryer, we hung clothes to dry. I didn’t have many pants, I wore dresses to school every day. Dad’s solution, line my pants with Wonder bread bags to keep my skin dry. This was fine by me, nothing was going to keep me from that snow. Off I flew, back to the hill.
Once it was dark, we headed home. The snow lit the way.
My mother had woken and dinner was on the table. My brother and I missed their calls to come home. I laugh today and wonder, was it realistic for them to think we were going to hear their voices around the corner when we were all screaming and having a blast with the rest of the kids in the neighborhood? I know they were loud, but really.
The fun didn’t end that day, travel was limited and everything remained closed up. Our neighbor, Angelo asked my father to join their family at the park for sleigh riding. This unplanned spontaneous day is one of my most memorable days. I don’t know that I ever saw my parents happier.
Not only the six kids but also our parents had a blast sleigh riding. We used my brother’s sled. My plastic sled was used sparingly. Unless you piled 4 of us in the sled, it just wouldn’t fly.
My mom made thermos of hot chocolate and Angelo brought the adults champagne. This was bliss. It was simplistic, it was wonderful.
“The wonder of a single snowflake outweighs the wisdom of a million meteorologists.” – unknown
I wish I could bring back the ambiance and the peaceful reprieve to the hustle and bustle and the joy. Maybe this snow storm will bring the opportunity. The forecast is now saying up to 24 inches of snow and a couple of areas, our area included, may see 36 inches headed our way. I think I’ll dream and will this to be so.“
Can a friendship transcend time? Once touched by a friend, are we touched forever?
“Each friend represents a world in us, a world possibly not born until they arrive, and it is only by this meeting that a new world is born.” – Anais Nin
Janet and I were 2 weeks apart in age. We met in elementary school. She came from a large, affluent family and I from a small, struggling family. Janet was artistic, creative, kind and funny. She not only made me laugh, I look back and see she gave me balance. We visited each other’s homes, played together and enjoyed each other’s company. So simple, nothing amazing or out of the ordinary, a friendship.
How is it that 47 years later, I’m still thinking about Janet and thanking God she was part of my life? Yesterday, I sent out my wishes to Janet and thought about her kind and gracious ways. I reminisced about the time we decided to write a play. First we wrote the play and then we met to make our puppet characters. We were quite serious about this play. Her siblings laughed at us; we were so enthralled with our undertaking. It was so simplistic and innocent. We were ten years old and going to live forever.
To Touch a Soul
What connects two people? Is it similarities, acceptance, kindness? How do you touch someone’s soul?
According to Kash and Susan from Spiritualunite.com, “your soul could be connected to anyone.” One indicator that you’ve connected to someone’s soul is the overall sense of peace you experience. In addition, when you touch another’s soul, you recognize who you are, you connect with your core. This, I believe sums up our relationship and friendship.
I remember visiting Janet’s house that year, the day after Christmas. My new bike was just something she had to see and then we could go for a ride together. She wasn’t home, her siblings said she had to go to the doctor. They joked about it. I asked them to let her know I visited and I would see her at school.
Heart Breaking News
That first day back to school was like no other, I found out Janet had died on New Year’s day. It was out of the blue, not expected. What seemed like a routine doctor’s visit turned into a hospital stay and ended in her death from leukemia. This was 47 years ago, they didn’t have the knowledge they have today. Maybe things would have turned out differently with all the new knowledge.
Janet, the girl that received perfect attendance awards each year, died of leukemia two weeks shy of her eleventh birthday. I spent the day in a daze. When my parents came home from work, I let them know and asked to go to the wake.
The memory of standing on the steps of the funeral home, trying to move forward, but just frozen, is still strong. I couldn’t do it, couldn’t see my friend Janet in a coffin. I cried and tried to pull myself together but the heaviness within was too strong. My mom went in and spoke with her parents. She let me know Janet looked so lovely in a beautiful white dress.
The next day, my friend, Dana and I walked to church for the funeral mass. In all these years I don’t think I’ve attended a funeral mass with so many hysterical people. Everyone was just sobbing uncontrollably.
Dana and I didn’t have much to say as we walked the 6 blocks to school. Conversation wouldn’t come to us; the tears just kept getting in the way. Just three flights of stairs to get to class, I couldn’t make it, I broke down on the steps so torn up and conflicted. How could my beautiful friend Janet be gone? It was beyond my understanding or comprehension. Dana tried to get me going. I just needed time.
Time Soothes the Pain
Time eventually soothed the raw pain and understanding replaced the questions and confusion of an eleven year old child. Janet wasn’t gone, she was in another place. For whatever reason, God needed another angel and he took Janet.
Each year at this time of year, I honor my special friend. Yes, I do feel our souls were connected. I also feel a part of Janet remains within me. Janet allowed me to be who I was, she didn’t try to change me, nor did I try to change her, we simply enjoyed time together, the perfect friendship.
You may say we were so young, we didn’t have the time to know about friendship. I beg to differ, God gave me a special friend that was mine on earth for a short period of time. Now she is in heaven and I honor her memory, but rest assured, she remains with me. She will live within me forever.
Normally by this time, many of us would have started on our New Year’s resolutions or already thrown them to the wind. This year though, preparing for 2021 has been different. I haven’t heard the same type of banter surrounding New Year’s resolutions. Do you agree?
New Year’s resolutions do not seem apropos for 2021. We need more than New Year’s resolutions.
What’s Apropos for 2021?
As I continue to speak with family and friends, it seems that resolutions may actually be superfluous in 2021. We need more than resolutions. If you look up “resolutions” in the dictionary, they’re just “firm” decisions to do something. Well, that’s not going to be enough to elicit change in 2021.
By change, I’m referring to change in our emotional outlook and feelings of wellbeing , not social change. We have plenty of people in the news touting the social changes needed to fix the world. I guess, I’m more concerned about the fibers that make us continue on our journey; what’s going to help us get through our days.
For this kind of change, I believe we need more than resolutions, we instead need hope.
Hope
Hope is to want something to happen or to be true and usually have a good reason to think that it might. So when we hope, we have a desire or a feeling of expectation that what we want will happen.
This sounds simple, but I think it goes so much deeper than that, for when we hope, we can conjure up magic. Maybe I feel this way because I believe hope inspires us and calls upon our faith in ourselves, our religion and others. I’m not the only one that feels this way. Just take a look at what others have to say about hope.
“Hope is the thingwith feathers that perches in the soul – and sings the tunes without the words – and never stops at all.” – Emily Dickinson
“Hope is the pillar that holds up the world. Hope is the dream of a waking man.” – Piny the Elder
“Hope is like the sun, which, as we journey toward it, casts the shadow of our burden behind us.” – Samuel Smiles
“Hope will never be silent.” – Harvey Milk
“Hope is being able to see that there is light despite all of the darkness.” – Desmond Tutu
I love these quotes. They’re inspiring, uplifting and open ended. They have no boundaries. Doesn’t that sound liberating and risk free? Feel how hope emits energy.
Professor Everett Worthington explains, “Hope is not Pollyannaish optimism – the assumption that a positive outcome is inevitable. Instead, hope is a motivation to persevere toward a goal or end state, even if we’re skeptical that a positive outcome is likely.” According to psychologists, “hope involves activity, a can-do attitude and a belief that we have a pathway to our desired outcome. Hope is the willpower to change and the way-power to bring about that change.”
“Hope involves activity, a can-do attitude and a belief that we have a pathway to our desired outcome. Hope is the willpower to change and the way-power to bring about that change.”
Having this steadfast mindset each day or in the face of adversity helps us stay positive on a daily basis and move mountains when necessary. In 2021, I think we need to move mountains, we need to face the new year with hope and solicit positivity.
This way of thinking about hope is not new. Charles Snyder, a psychologist, developed the “Hope Theory“. According to Snyder’s theory, hope includes pathways thinking and agency. The ways we achieve a goal are “pathways thinking” and the motivated confidence or the steadfast mindset is the “agency”.
Higher levels of wellbeing and positive emotions with hope.
Hope’s Benefits
Being hopeful has its benefits. Perfect, we change our way of thinking and reap rewards. Psychologists have completed studies and confirmed that people with hope have higher levels of wellbeing, positive emotions and a stronger sense of purpose. They also have lower levels of depression and loneliness.
You may wonder, why does hope provide such positive outcomes. Well, I’ve now learned, when we’re hopeful, we deal with stressful occurrences in healthier ways. We’re more logical when addressing the urgency at hand, we come up with alternatives and then decide on the best option. We don’t avoid the problem but instead, hit it head on.
I think this is why I have this welling up positive feelings when I’m hopeful. I must dispel the negativity within and give myself a boost. My positive feelings then must motivate me to action. That makes sense to me.
How Do I Find Hope?
Know that having hope is always an option and possibility. Psychologists have held studies with individuals facing dire situations and witnessed increased hope develop in the midst of such uncertainty.
Loss of hope is a result of cognitive distortion. This is when we have irrational thoughts or ideas, like when that little voice fills you will doubts. If we manage our cognitive distortions, we experience more positive emotions.
To build up hope, we basically need our own little arsenal filled with tools to provide positive thoughts. Professor Everett Worthington suggests we find our “heroes of hope” and write them down. Start listing movies, books, quotes, etc. that inspire you. For me, this may include, The Inn of the Sixth Happiness, Little Women, It’s a Wonderful Life, and the quotes I included at the beginning of this article. I know after watching or reading these, I always feel uplifted.
Psychologist, Karyn Hall tells us to start taking small steps. Break down problems into small pieces and start working on each piece. We feel positive and not as overwhelmed when we successfully overcome a small piece of a problem.
Another way to gain hope is to help others. When we help others, we increase our positive feelings. Working on causes can help us find hope.
We can also seek professional help. A therapist helps clients find ways to cope with problems and can help motivate you to work toward the change.
2021
Yes I’m convinced hope is needed in 2021. I believe hope will help us improve our emotional outlook and impact our wellbeing.
I’m moving forward in 2021, with an energy and a desire to inspire others to look for hope and gain light in their lives. I’m going to look for the positives, make an effort to remove negative thinking from my mind and try to replace each negative with a positive thought. I’m creating my toolkit to go to when my hope ebbs.
We’re coming out of the pandemic, social distancing will soon be in our past. This is definitely making me more hopeful. I’m proceeding with thoughts of friends, backyard parties and gatherings. I plan on catching up on the lost visits and enjoying the comradery and laughs.
What else? It’s time for self-care, an area that has been lacking for me. Being able to prioritize my time has been my difficulty. In 2021, I’m placing myself in front so I can keep moving in a positive direction. If quiet time, meditation time or pampering time is needed, I’m going to give it a try. This is a year to successfully learn how to meditate and find peace, allowing my hope to increase.
I started this blog to help myself, I wanted to see the good in things. I felt by writing about simple every day occurrences, I could hold on to those basic things that are important and not be smothered by outside world events that have run amok. That was my starting point.
Maybe by reaching out and finding hope, inspiration and the light, in 2021, I can touch others that may need some positive views and vibrations too. I wish all of you luck doing the same. Happy New Year to all!!
What a gift, time to decompress. Honestly, this year, I just need to gain back some of the calm and composure lost during the year. I’m so grateful for having the next week to collect myself, put things in their perspective and begin the new year with a fresh outlook.
Tranquility.
Sometimes you have to take a break and breathe before you can keep moving forward. – Kayla Panchisin
Are you like me? You know you’re just not looking at things the right way. What is insignificant at other times, just seems daunting now. Well, downtime is needed, that vital “me” time.
I feel I’ve been tied to my schedule, the cell phone and my Fitbit without a break. So this week, I’m changing my routines. I have no schedule, my Fitbit broke, a miracle in disguise, and I’m leaving my phone in a different room. This will alleviate some self-manufactured pressure I’ve placed on my shoulders.
I’ve replaced my calendar with walks, letter writing, books, Legos and even a couple of naps. A dream come true. The simplicity of days like this are nurturing. What else do I need to do? I need to reflect; look at what I’ve been doing, decide on what’s important and adjust accordingly.
Self-Reflection
There are various self-reflection benefits, including but not limited to, improved self-awareness, reduced anxiety, increased self-confidence and improved relationships through more connected communications. Learning about ourselves opens the door for increased happiness. That seems pretty dreamy to me.
This isn’t new to me, I’m introspective. I like to understand my feelings, I need to understand what I really want, so I can move in the right direction toward that goal. I certainly know a week of self-reflection isn’t going to change where I stand today. The self-reflection I’m doing this week begins my routine, my starting point for the new year. This realignment or starting point makes me feel good.
Vision Board
I’m also refreshing my vision board from last year. There’s no need to create a new vision board. I just need to add another smaller board, an addendum to the vision board I’m using today. My period of transition and growth started a while ago. I’ve undertaken certain changes and embarked on a journey. The progress I’ve made, I’m proud of and the more intense, complicated changes I want to continue making will take a little longer. That’s okay though, my path is leading me in the right direction.
Vision Board
Funny, I think having my vision board has been great, but in a way, just like the Fitbit, the cell phone and the schedule, I’ve been so glued to my tools that emotionally, I’ve not allowed my thoughts to be free to wander, to deviate from the structure or let loose of the quest to achieve my goals. I didn’t give my conscious mind the time to forget the goals and just live without these overarching goals.
Instead of seeing the positive steps toward the goals and recognizing my successes on a daily basis, I looked at my vision board and saw unfinished business, progress not made. I turned the positive of the vision board into a negative.
Stretching his hand up to reach the stars, too often man forgets the flowers at his feet. – Jeremy Bentham
Why’d I do this? Along the way, my negativity seeped through (you’re not where you want to be) and blocked out my ability to see so much positive progress. I twisted my thinking. Now taking the time to see where I was and where I am, I see this mistake. So now it’s time to fix the error.
I want to continue with my my addendum; I want to add to my vision board, maybe refine some goals. With growth comes gained insights and further change. I’m evolving and that’s a good thing.
Right now, I’m feeling good. I’m content in my own shoes. I started out learning about myself and that was and is the positive side of the exercise. Now as I move forward, I will remain excited about the daily journey. I will bask in the successes and the small strides because in the scheme of things, putting those small wins together, amounts to a major change.
I think internally we are sometimes quite harsh with ourselves. We must learn how to be kind to ourselves, listen to our messages from within.
Who I was and who I am are all part of who I will become. In 2021, I will forge a better version of me. It is my desire to leave negativity and doubts behind me and face the new year with a positive energy.
In these last days of 2020, give yourself a gift: time to reflect, adjust and rejuvenate.
Life is about accepting the challenges along the way, choosing to keep moving forward, and savoring the journey. – Roy T. Bennett
The Poinsettia, for me, symbolizes all that’s good, It connotates joy, beauty, peace, friendship and love. This plant goes with the holidays just as much as the Christmas tree.
The following year she decides to forego the live poinsettia since her financial situation still is not in a good place. Instead she uses artificial pieces she has from prior years to decorate. God has other plans in mind, he sends her friends with gifts, a red and white poinsettia.
Each subsequent year, this woman receives a poinsettia from someone. Her prays are answered by God, he knows she understands his message, he is there for her.
History of the Poinsettia
What twist of fate elevated this pretty plant to a place of honor especially during the holidays? In order to answer this question, we need to step back in history.
The Aztecs call this plant, Cuitlaxochitl, star flower. The Aztecs believed red symbolized purity. They used the red plant tops of the poinsettia flower as a dye for skin and clothing. This star flower was also used as a natural medicine. The Cuitlaxochitl symbolized purity.
The poinsettia plant originally came from Mexico and Guatemala. In these climates, the plant could grow 15 feet tall. Although the plant traditionally blooms from October through December, this plant continues to live year round.
In the early 1800s, the US ambassador to Mexico, amateur botanist Joel Roberts Poinsett, sent the plant home to Greenville, South Carolina, USA to be cultivated. Colonel Robert Carr and Paul Ecke from California promoted the poinsettia and positioned it to be the Christmas flower.
Today the poinsettia symbolizes joy, love, purity and hope among other things to so many. How though did this plant go from a marketed Christmas plant to a cherished plant during the holidays? I believe it has to do with the Mexican poinsettia legend.
The Legend of the Poinsetta
There are different versions of the legend, some say this legend is about a little boy while others say it was about a girl. I’m going to tell you the story as retold by Tomie dePaola in his children’s book, The Legend of the Poinsetta. This is a story my girls have enjoyed over the years. Maybe this is another reason why the poinsettia symbolizes such joy and love for me.
Lucida, a young girl, and her mom are weaving a Christmas blanket to be placed over Jesus during the Christmas festival. This is their family’s gift to Jesus. Lucida’s mom gets sick before the festival and is in the hospital. Lucida and her siblings stay with a friend since her father must remain at the hospital.
Hearing the others speak about the blanket for Jesus not being finished, Lucida tries to complete the weaving on her own but ends up tangling the threads. They can’t be untangled in time. The friend tells Lucida not to worry, they will go to the festival together and place a gift before Jesus.
The night of the festival Lucida hides, she has no gift. An old woman appears and tells Lucida her mom will be well. She can go into the church. She explains, she has no gift for Jesus. The old woman tell Lucida whatever you give Jesus, he will love.
Lucida looks around, picks an armful of weeds and takes them to Jesus. She then closes her eyes and prayed. A hush fell over the church, the weeds turned into flaming red stars and the manger glowed as if lit by a hundred candles. As they left the church, they see all the tall weeds turned to flaming red stars.
Now every Christmas, the red stars appear on top of all the green branches in Mexico. In Mexico, the poinsettia is called la Flor de Nochebuena, the Flower of the Holy Night or flor de fuego, the fire flower.
The poinsettia, a beautiful plant that is a symbol of God’s love.
The COVID-19 pandemic continues to dictate far reaching changes to the normalcy of our everyday existence. As we continue to navigate through this unchartered time, we’ve been forced to alter activities, leaving us morose and stagnant. I desperately needed to counteract the negative environment within our household so I decided to decorate for Christmas before Thanksgiving. Yes, it may have been premature or downright crazy, but at the same time, very necessary. Decorating early was the answer for my family, a way to bring vibrancy back to the dulled atmosphere and collective mood.
We Need A Little Christmas
Do you remember the song, “We Need a Little Christmas“? This song captures the essence of the moment. I took action, hauled out the decorations, the tree and then spent the weekend creating an atmosphere of excitement, anticipation and yes, I brought back a lot of love from the past to the present.
Feelings of Connection
Opening each box of decorations, brought warmth and connection. The memories quickly came to the surface and initially surrounded me and then my girls and husband. The love and warmth emanating from the memories tied to the ornaments and nativity sets was infectious. How many family members and friends were present as the decorating continued? The presence of the memories from past Christmas’ enveloped the room and our home.
Each ornament and decoration connected us to a different place and time. So much love and so many memories filled with giving flooded our home. I was transported back in time.
Heart Touching Memories
I started to go back in time. My husband and I had so much fun picking out the best Santa ornaments we could find for my father-in-law. We would shop around while on vacations or just stop by some local stores to find the perfect ornament for the Christmas season. Seeing his reaction as he opened the box gave us joy. I can recall him examining one Santa ornament with the painted feet on the bottom. It was different, the shape was new; was it going to past muster? Yes, it fit his idea of the perfect Santa. We accomplished our mission for the year, he liked the Santa. This placed us on a cloud.
That particular Santa remained one of his favorites and today remains one of our favorites. Now all of his Santa ornaments adorn our tree. From the newer ornaments we gave him to his childhood ornaments with the faded paint.
All the ornaments hold moments in time. I unpacked the Hallmark ornaments my parents gave me as I was growing up, the little girl made of a corn husk, the bells my father loved, old fashioned girls dressed in traditional garb I bought while out with my parents after I moved into my condo, the Lenox teddy bear, the Betsy Clark, Minnesota state ornaments sent to me from my Minnesota friends, the patchwork and crocheted ornaments I made over the years. All so dear and one more precious than the other.
Another box, filled with the treasured homemade ornaments from my friend, Jane. Each ornament unique and beautiful in it’s own right. Funny, in my mind I can see my younger daughter pulling the 4 wooden puzzle piece ornaments from the tree. She loves piecing the puzzle together so it shows each of our names. As many times as I place the pieces back on the tree, I know the puzzle will be out on the floor once again in no time. Love was poured into each ornament, nativity set and wall hanging as they were made and just as much love is in the treasuring and adoring of these special ornaments and decorations each year as we place them on the tree and around the house.
When I was first married, my husband would help put up the tree and decorate it with ornaments. He too would reminisce and smile as we shared our memories of when and where we picked up ornaments from our travels. I could hear him saying, Do you remember this one from Nova Scotia, this Santa from Maine, the boat from Martha’s Vineyard or what about this Snoopy on the sled I surprised you with that one Christmas? Such dear memories.
I love the Peruvian nativity scene in the gourd Rick picked up for me when we were in NYC for the holidays, the stable and wooden nativity set under the tree that plays music and the dancing Santa he surprised me with because we had so much fun with it at one of the stores.
Many of the nativity ornaments were given to me by my mother-in-law. She knew I was fond of nativity sets. I love each unique scene, special in it’s own way. Such thoughtful and loving gifts that shall always be cherished. Oh, so many beautiful memories to spread warmth and good cheer.
Our Spirits Lifted
Rick and the girls have been looking at the tree, admiring the ornaments and reminiscing. Moving up the day to decorate our home was the right decision. The atmosphere and the mood within our home lifted. The feelings of hope, new life and love pushed out the feelings of loneliness and despair. The unanswered questions about when the pandemic will end and at what cost are still there but they are at bay.
Decorating Brings Happiness
Our family is not the only family that knows decorating early can help get rid of the doldrums. Psychologists agree that decorating for the holidays may be a good idea. Decorating early for some, can be a good thing because it, brings forth memories of happier times, provides a distraction from the stresses of 2020, gives a sense of control and a feeling of something good is on the horizon. I have to say it sums it up for us.
Psychologist, Dr. Sarah Adler, advised, “Putting up things that are colorful, things that smell good, things that kind of evoke nostalgia and good memory cause happiness in our brain kind of gives us a dopamine hit, which is really the feel good neurotransmitter.” I may not have known the scientific reasons behind the good feeling I and in turn my family received from decorating, but I certainly felt the result.
If Holidays Conjure Unpleasant Memories, Start New Traditions
Maybe the holidays don’t give you that warm and fuzzy feeling. The holidays may bring loneliness or unpleasant memories to the surface. This article may actually incite you. Well, if that is the case, I hope you can read the suggestion of psychologist and happiness expert, Elizabeth Lombardo. She indicates that starting a new tradition is the way to turn things around and make this and future holidays, the kind of days you’ll look forward to.
Elizabeth Lombardo indicates, “Whether it’s going away, seeing a movie as a family, volunteering. It creates a new association. The next time the holidays roll around, you’ll subconsciously connect that time of the year with your newer, happier memories.”
I wish that all of you find the mix that works for you. If decorating and reminiscing helps you smile, then by all means, start decorating. If the stresses of life, including decorating, overwhelm you, then just treat yourself to some quiet time. Find what makes you happy and move in that direction. Merry Christmas and Happy Holidays to all!!
Each of us have things in our lives that we prefer staying the same, consistent or reliable. Maybe it’s a weekly routine like taking a walk, biking with family, game night or a gym or yoga class. It’s part of you. That’s the way my family feels about the Westchester Broadway Dinner Theatre, our hometown dinner theatre. It’s part of us and our family history.
My husband and I love the theater. We love the music, costumes, singing and dancing. The theater gives us joy. This now holds true for our girls. We introduced them to the theater at early ages. The love of the theater is now part of them. I can’t tell you how good this makes my husband and I feel.
Unfortunately the COVID-19 pandemic has impacted our neighborhood theatre and changed our family dynamic in one more way. Now, along with store and restaurant closures, COVID-19 took down our beloved dinner theatre. The news headline stated, “Westchester Broadway Theatre won’t reopen, a victim of COVID shutdown.” This left us shocked and saddened.
I guess I for one, lulled myself into believing certain things won’t change. Odd, since I teach my children that everything changes and that’s okay. Anything goes. We’re flexible and while change can be uncomfortable, we can overcome the discomfort and move in other directions and on to other things.
Even with understanding this, the closing of Westchester Broadway Dinner Theatre hit a chord within me. Memories of time spent at the theatre are too close to my heart. Let me explain. After I met my husband, he opened a door and shared his love for the Westchester Broadway Dinner Theatre with me. That was twenty three years ago. Once married, my mother-in-law gave us gift certificates each year at Christmas and we augmented those with additional tickets when interested in additional shows.
While we continued to see Broadway shows in NYC, the Westchester Broadway Dinner Theatre provided a pleasant, effortless evening where we’d dress up, enjoy time conversing over a dinner and then be entertained with a show. Going to the Westchester Broadway Dinner Theatre was so easy, no traffic or chaos, just a ride over the bridge. A respite from our busy work schedules.
Westchester Broadway Dinner Theatre, Annie Get Your Gun
Once we had our girls, the Westchester Broadway Dinner Theatre trips almost came to a halt. My mother-in-law had wisdom and understood the importance of those special trips to the theatre, and once again started sending those theatre tickets.
We eased our girls into the wonderful world of theatre at tender ages. They enjoyed the Christmas shows, then progressed to shows like Annie, Oliver, My Fair Lady, Show Boat and Annie Get Your Gun. Initially, our younger daughter would fall asleep after intermission, but over time, she too was too enthralled to sleep. By this time, we were also taking their Grandma with us to the dinner theatre for Thanksgiving. That became a wonderful annual tradtion.
Weschester Broadway Dinner Theatre, Annie
The Westchester Broadway Dinner Theatre has been a constant for our family. The girls found the closure of the theatre to be unfathomable. They hear the news of what’s going on in the world, but like me, they didn’t think this would be one of the casualties of the pandemic.
The girls too are saddened and questioning how we’ll spend future Thanksgivings and wondering if seeing dinner shows or any shows will ever be. It certainly won’t be like it once was. My older daughter having an interest in pursuing theater as a career option is looking at this occurrence and speculating about the future and how else the pandemic will impact our lives and her future. I understand all the questions since I, as the adult, also have questions.
The dinner theatre gave us special family time to bond. We’re grateful for all we were able to see and experience. We’ll stay strong, cherish the memories; all the evenings at the theatre, the enjoyment, each other’s company and being lost in shows.
As a family we’re going to continue to laugh over our funny mishaps like the time we were waiting to enter the theater and an eggplant fell from the second floor. According to the girl’s grandma, the eggplant almost fell on her head. Although we will not be visiting the theater this Thanksgiving, I’m sure the eggplant story will grace our table. Another time, I had to reschedule our ticket date so many times that I finally wrote down the wrong weekend. We showed up a week late for the show. After the realization hit, you can only imagine the family’s disappointment. This was not the end of the story though; those at Westchester Broadway Theatre did some checking and placed us in the producers’ box for the show. We were so happy and relieved. The theatre took care of us and for this we will always be grateful.
I’m thankful my girls enjoyed these and so many other experiences and most of all I’m grateful they gained a love for the theater. Thank you Westchester Broadway Dinner Theatre for bringing us years of joy!!
