Can a friendship transcend time? Once touched by a friend, are we touched forever?
“Each friend represents a world in us, a world possibly not born until they arrive, and it is only by this meeting that a new world is born.” – Anais Nin
Janet and I were 2 weeks apart in age. We met in elementary school. She came from a large, affluent family and I from a small, struggling family. Janet was artistic, creative, kind and funny. She not only made me laugh, I look back and see she gave me balance. We visited each other’s homes, played together and enjoyed each other’s company. So simple, nothing amazing or out of the ordinary, a friendship.
How is it that 47 years later, I’m still thinking about Janet and thanking God she was part of my life? Yesterday, I sent out my wishes to Janet and thought about her kind and gracious ways. I reminisced about the time we decided to write a play. First we wrote the play and then we met to make our puppet characters. We were quite serious about this play. Her siblings laughed at us; we were so enthralled with our undertaking. It was so simplistic and innocent. We were ten years old and going to live forever.
To Touch a Soul
What connects two people? Is it similarities, acceptance, kindness? How do you touch someone’s soul?
According to Kash and Susan from Spiritualunite.com, “your soul could be connected to anyone.” One indicator that you’ve connected to someone’s soul is the overall sense of peace you experience. In addition, when you touch another’s soul, you recognize who you are, you connect with your core. This, I believe sums up our relationship and friendship.
I remember visiting Janet’s house that year, the day after Christmas. My new bike was just something she had to see and then we could go for a ride together. She wasn’t home, her siblings said she had to go to the doctor. They joked about it. I asked them to let her know I visited and I would see her at school.
Heart Breaking News
That first day back to school was like no other, I found out Janet had died on New Year’s day. It was out of the blue, not expected. What seemed like a routine doctor’s visit turned into a hospital stay and ended in her death from leukemia. This was 47 years ago, they didn’t have the knowledge they have today. Maybe things would have turned out differently with all the new knowledge.
Janet, the girl that received perfect attendance awards each year, died of leukemia two weeks shy of her eleventh birthday. I spent the day in a daze. When my parents came home from work, I let them know and asked to go to the wake.
The memory of standing on the steps of the funeral home, trying to move forward, but just frozen, is still strong. I couldn’t do it, couldn’t see my friend Janet in a coffin. I cried and tried to pull myself together but the heaviness within was too strong. My mom went in and spoke with her parents. She let me know Janet looked so lovely in a beautiful white dress.
The next day, my friend, Dana and I walked to church for the funeral mass. In all these years I don’t think I’ve attended a funeral mass with so many hysterical people. Everyone was just sobbing uncontrollably.
Dana and I didn’t have much to say as we walked the 6 blocks to school. Conversation wouldn’t come to us; the tears just kept getting in the way. Just three flights of stairs to get to class, I couldn’t make it, I broke down on the steps so torn up and conflicted. How could my beautiful friend Janet be gone? It was beyond my understanding or comprehension. Dana tried to get me going. I just needed time.
Time Soothes the Pain
Time eventually soothed the raw pain and understanding replaced the questions and confusion of an eleven year old child. Janet wasn’t gone, she was in another place. For whatever reason, God needed another angel and he took Janet.
Each year at this time of year, I honor my special friend. Yes, I do feel our souls were connected. I also feel a part of Janet remains within me. Janet allowed me to be who I was, she didn’t try to change me, nor did I try to change her, we simply enjoyed time together, the perfect friendship.
You may say we were so young, we didn’t have the time to know about friendship. I beg to differ, God gave me a special friend that was mine on earth for a short period of time. Now she is in heaven and I honor her memory, but rest assured, she remains with me. She will live within me forever.